‘Roddy Doyle by way of Smith & Jones’ – Two More Pints by Roddy Doyle

2mprd– I see Roddy Doyle has released another of those Two Pints books.

– What’s a Two Pint book when it’s at home?

– It’s a book you can read in about the time it takes to drink two pints! Hah!

– Is that the best you’ve got?

– Give me a chance. I’ve only had a couple of sips.

– Okay, so. I’ll reiterate: what’s this Two Pints malarkey all about?

– Basically, you get a couple of blokes talking about the world over a pint.

– Go on.

– It’s basically a series of flash fictions. Riffs on current affairs.

– Such as.

– Such as the royals going on holiday, various celebrities dying, stuff happening in Ireland.

– Stuff happening in Ireland? What’s that got to do with the price of ale?

– I saw what you did there.

– Thanks, I’m glad someone is paying attention.

– There are a fair few things that readers outside of Ireland might not get.

– But you said they were largely flash fictions.

– Aye, they are.

– So is it like buses then?

– Fictional buses?

– Aye, fictional buses. If you don’t like one, another comes along a minute after.

– Well, yes and no. It’s not like it’s different characters drinking pints. It’s the same two fellas.

– I get you. So they sit in the pub and they talk –

– But you only hear what they say. It’s just dialogue.

– So it’s Roddy Doyle by way of Smith and Jones.

– You could say that, yeah.

– So it’s funny.

– Sometimes.

– Did you laugh?

– I did.

– But not all the time.

– No.

– Is that because some of it is serious?

– That and some of it isn’t funny.

– What else?

– Go on. I can tell there’s something else you want to say.

– Well, the thing is. I can’t quite make my mind up.

– About what?

– About your man Roddy Doyle.

– What about your man Roddy Doyle?

– Well, on the one hand, he’s a serious novelist.

– He is. Didn’t he win the Booker Prize with that Paddy book?

– He did. He did win the Booker Prize.

– So what’s your problem?

– I suppose my problem is: I feel like he doesn’t take himself seriously enough.

– Isn’t that a good thing?

It is a good thing.

–  So what’s your problem then?

– I feel like – every idea he has becomes a book.

– You’re saying he’s not selective.

– I am.

– He wants to write a children’s book, he writes a children’s book.

– He wants to write a biography of his parents…

– He wrote a biography of his parents?

– He did.

– That’s some brass balls right there.

– I’m sure he’d say that their experience was typical of the post-war Irish etc.

– He’d be talking out of his hole.

– So you’re not completely comfortable with his oeuvre?

– No.

– But you didn’t mind Two More Pints?

– Not really, no. It’s over so fast, you have a chuckle and then it’s done.

– That’s what your missus says.

– Do we do the Any Cop? bit now?

– Oh I hate that bit. He should’ve retired that ages ago.

– I don’t think Roddy had a say in that.

– Not Roddy. The Bookmunch fella. He should’ve retired the Any Cop?

– Maybe he’s thought about and decided to stick with it.

– So. Any Cop?

– Aye. It’s alright.

– Worth £7.99?

– Ehh.





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